Can relationships sabotage your weight loss journey? Life is about relationships. The truth is we have many relationships that span from family to friends to co-workers and everything in between. The question is can a relationship sabotage your weight loss efforts? You’ll be surprised to know that they indeed can play a role in derailing you, if you’re not careful. Perhaps, this scenario sounds familiar. You make a decision to start eating healthy, to cut out the foods that have been triggers to over eating in the past. Now all of sudden people come out of the wood works offering you the very thing you decided to let go. You may have not been invited to lunch by a co-worker and suddenly they are offering to pay for a pasta feast. Or even your hubby decides to “treat” the family and brings home a dozen donuts.
What’s happening? Well, for one maybe this has been a common occurrence but now you are being more aware of it because of your decision. Or maybe you making this decision somehow brings a sense of insecurity to a loved one. Questions like will they still love me when all of a sudden they lose all this weight? What if their change is just outward but also internal? We would all like to believe that this type of thinking never goes through the mind of those closest to us, but the truth is it may be a reality.
So how do we address this? For one it’s important to reassure your relationships that you are committed to them. If it’s a spouse letting them know that you getting healthy would only strengthen your life together goes a long way. If it’s a close friend letting them know that even though they may not be able to share the same meals it changes nothing. That your relationship had nothing to do with food but with a desire to spend time together. So maybe you will have to change your plans and instead of sharing an ice cream sundae, take a walk together instead.
What about your co-workers? You don’t want to offend them when they bring to the office a batch of those favorite brownies they love to make for you. What do you do then? It’s important once again to voice clearly that turning down a brownie does not mean you are turning them down. You may have to spend a little extra time listening to them about what’s going on in their lives and reassure them that you value their friendship.
Something curious that I have noticed is that sometimes how our relationships are going is reflected on our weight loss efforts. If our relationships are strong and going well, we inherently are more focused on taking care to eat better. However, when those same relationships are under stress and things are not as smooth going we need to be more vigilant so that our weight loss efforts are not sabotaged.
But what happens when our relationship with ourselves is what’s not working properly? When we are our worst enemy and we are self-sabotaging? It’s easier when it’s a toxic friendship that we need to walk away from, but we can’t walk away from ourselves now can we? This is when we need to do what sometimes, feels very painful and be willing to ask ourselves why we do this to ourselves? Why after doing so well for several days, weeks, even months we now put ourselves in harm’s way again?
Sometimes, those answers go way back, even childhood back. It may stem from a time and place when you used food to bring comfort or fill a void. Unfortunately, even though a pint of Hagen Daz ice cream may feel really good going down once you finished the whole thing and realize how much sugar and empty calories you just consumed, you’re left with having to deal with a huge sense of guilt and self loathing. Why? Because you gave food too much credit. There was no way it was going to bring you any real lasting comfort. Food was never meant to have that much power.
So what’s the answer? I believe that what we are really dealing with is something that is much deeper than an unhealthy relationship with food. Instead, we are dealing with a spiritual need that can only be met when we surrender those deep-rooted feelings over to God.
We need to be willing for God to examine our hearts, heal our wounds and find true freedom. And that takes work and time. This is not a one-time cry for help prayer. We need to peel the layers of our life and as deep pains are revealed, hand them over to God to deal with. Is that easy? Is that even a fun process? No, the truth is it’s easier to stuff all those emotions down, but that will never bring true freedom.
If you have been struggling with your weight loss I encourage you to turn your prayers to Jesus. Let him know your struggles and allow him to guide you on this journey. This goes deeper than any diet. Although we are partial to low carb way of eating to lose weight, what we have learned is that only those who surrender every area of their lives including their eating habits to God will find true lasting success.
It’s my desire that you find a local church that can support you as an individual and that this little blog will push you to make the necessary steps to live out your life to the fullest.
Check out our The-almost-too-good-to-be-true-news page for more information on how to make that first step in allowing God on this journey.