Have you struggled telling people no? This was something I had to learn on my journey to wellness. This two-letter word can be both powerful and liberating once we learn how to use it properly.
It’s been my experience that saying yes constantly will overload our schedules like nothing else. Why do we feel compelled to say yes all the time though? Honestly, I feel it comes from a need to please, after all no one wants to be seen as uncaring. However, trying to protect people from our no is a feeble attempt to keep them happy. Saying yes when our schedule is overloaded is no a way to live. In the end our zeal to please sets us up to fail. This is why learning to say no is vital.
Finding our voice in order to achieve balance is a necessary skill. Something I learned was to say no without giving a list of reasons for my decision. This was indeed a challenge for me because I didn’t want to disappoint anyone. Reminding myself that empty vessels are weak vessels; meaning I can’t give what I don’t have is key for me.
When we stretch ourselves too thin by over committing we end up paying a high price with our health. Because of my personal journey today I want to make sure no one else makes the same mistake.
5 Tips To Help You Find Balance
- Know your limits. Don’t play the comparison game. Not everything is as it appears. Upon closer inspection you may realize the high level of exhaustion people who over commit are experiencing both physically and emotionally.
- Don’t let your yes be a knee jerk reaction. How many times have you blurted out yes before taking the time to examine your schedule? Instead, get into the habit of saying you will get back to them after you have had time to reflect.
- Evaluate the time a project will take. We often underestimate how much effort is needed to participate. Don’t ignore the true time and mental toll required.
- Don’t schedule your life away. Sadly, we can live in a constant state of busyness because it’s what makes us feel important or needed. This should never be the reason to say yes to someone. It may take some painful soul-searching but ask yourself why you feel compelled to say yes so frequently. If not careful our insecurities will propel us into a cycle of over committing. Trying to please everyone is a sure path to exhaustion.
- Be accountable. Listen to the warning cries coming from those closest to you. If you are constantly being told that you juggling too much, it’s a cue you’re not saying no enough. I find that we are not very good at realizing our own tendency to over commit. The willingness to allow others to keep us in check is a gift, and one you should not take for granted.
The next time you find yourself conflicted about saying no, remember doing so may be the most generous answer you can give.